A Letter To My 16 Year-Old Self

 

watercolor painting
Photo courtesy of Professional Artist Simon Tan

One Saturday evening you will find yourself running across our small village … the moon is hidden behind the clouds as you try to catch your breath. You are somehow aware that you are young and alive. It’s like that movie scene in “The Way We Were” (which you might have watched it before by now, it’s awesome, trust me!).

You run and run till your heart is pounding. Not because you’re running but because you’re just a kid and I note with jealousy that right now you can still run forever. You were at the phone with him ten minutes ago and after you put the receiver down, you left and started changing to your favorite dress he loves. What you have to say to him, you want to see him in person. He must know this too because he’s waiting for you at your usual meeting spot, isn’t he?

Her mother is at home when you call and she quickly tell her that she has to meet her friend so that she come out to meet him. He looks more charming that evening. You look up and see a silhouette and under the street lamp there he was pacing up and down the street impatiently in deep thoughts. You want to melt into his strong arms and wish if time could stay still. The clouds finally move away and the moon appears behind the veil. It’s a lovely night.

You look at each other for awhile, holding hands and you smile at him.You can feel your heart pounding faster and faster as you started to talk.

You tell him that you think of him all the time. You can’t get him out of your mind. You just wish that moment will last forever. Then, you tell first lie to him.

“I really really really like you”. I know you want to say “love” but you can’t bring yourself to do it.

That’s okay. You’re only 16 years old. One day you will learn that your heart is not your betrayer. One day you will learn it can break and it can mend. More than once.

But that’s not why I’m writing to you.

I want you to pay attention to what I’m about to tell you. Read this letter again and again if you have to.

He will kiss her, and you will kiss him.

Remember that kiss.

Try to remember and slow your heart down and take it all in. Know how it feels like. How he tastes. How he smells. The look in his droopy eyes. Both of you so young.

Remember all of it because I’m older now, at least in your eyes. And I’ve reached the age where the things that happened in the past are beginning to matter more now than the next.

And for the life of me, I can’t remember that moment.

Would you do that for me, girl?

Thanks so much.

xo

28 comments

    • I used to write a diary when I was younger least I forget. I also learned that we usually don’t forget important moments in life especially first love. Thanks so much for your comment! Xxo

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